


The Fall

by Eliana_debrey



Series: DickJay series [2]
Category: Batman - All Media Types, Nightwing (Comics), Red Hood and the Outlaws (Comics)
Genre: M/M, Mental Health Issues, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Hatred, Self-Worth Issues, Unreliable Narrator, baby is under some pressure, unreliable
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-23
Updated: 2020-08-23
Packaged: 2021-03-06 14:21:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,159
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26070316
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eliana_debrey/pseuds/Eliana_debrey
Summary: Richard Grayson-Wayne wasn’t enigmatic, he wasn’t mysterious. He was broken.
Relationships: Dick Grayson/Jason Todd
Series: DickJay series [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2110800
Comments: 13
Kudos: 84





	The Fall

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! This is a hot take about Dick Grayson, do keep in mind that I love him, it's just that I believe there is no way he is able to manage his life while still being well. I also think Dick is held to high standards by everybody and therefore he has some issues about himself and his worth and how he is supposed to act and be.

Richard Grayson-Wayne was magnetic. He drew people to him, unlike anyone. People felt privileged to be able to spend even just an hour with him, and they would sigh if he dared smile at them. Richard Grayson-Wayne drew people to him without trying. He was enigmatic, and mysterious, not in a condescending way. He laughed to anyone’s joke, listened to their stories, answered their questions, but people knew they weren’t part of his personal circle. There was a fine line between them and Richard’s friends.

His friends were important to him. He gave them his time, would stop talking to anyone just to say hello to them. He would look after them and spend more time with them than others. Dick Grayson was someone people loved and were curious about, and he would never disappoint. Dick Grayson was interesting. He knew a lot, and was intelligent, he knew not to show it too much or he was simply aware of the limits of his knowledge.

Dick Grayson was beautiful. No, he was breathtaking, graceful, enigmatic. Everybody knew someone that attracted people like him and only a few were truly close to those special persons.

The thing is that even Dick’s friends knew they weren’t that important to him. The could trust him with their lives, and he would call for their help if he needed it. But Dick Grayson only looked one way, and it was not theirs.

Dick Grayson was a family man. He never walked away from them, even during his disagreements with Bruce he kept his duty to the family. Even when Jason Todd came along and his colors became Jason’s he stayed and trained him. When Tim came and replace Jason he did the same and even more thinking that maybe if he had been a better big brother Jason would still be alive, and when Damian —the blood son— Wayne weaseled his way in the family, Dick opened his arms. Family was important. The most important.

And, once again, even within the family everyone knew who Dick loved the most, sought the most. Fools would have said it was Damian, his baby brother, smart ones would have believed it was Tim, his first apprentice, and observant ones would say Bruce, his father, and mentor. But the Waynes all knew it was Jason the one Dick favored. Except for Jason.

Dick accepted more coming from Jason. He took his bad temper and let him calm down before going after him. Jason could mock his name the way others didn’t even dare to try. He mocked Robin and the costumes when other people would have been destroyed even thinking about it. Jason could do anything and get away with it. He was favored.

Dick always hung close to him during meetings, went to Jason’s flat the first minute he stepped in Gotham. Dick remembered what Jason loved and hated to eat, he always gave him the pickles in his sandwiches. He gave his share of Alfred’s biscuits when Jason came. Jason would take them all in front of the jealous stares of the others. He would take and never give back according to them. He would take and take. And one day they wished Dick would just stop giving.

But Jason was not a taker. He took and gave back a hundred times. Jason was Dick’s safe place. He was the only one he could go and rant again and again about Bruce, his life, his past, everything. After all, Jason had known him before he had become the well-balanced man he was now. Jason had seen him scream until tears fell from his eyes. He had seen him being broken because the name his mother gave to him was passed onto someone else. Jason understood him in a way others couldn’t. Jason had been destroyed by Batman and yet he was always calm, cold according to the others, but Dick knew it was only because he had been hurt too much. Jason had steeled himself and he was only protecting his caring heart.

The only reason Dick could step in Jason’s flat was that he had made Dick a security administrator. The only reason he accepted Dick’s pickles was that no one else knew the older man hated them. No one but him. The only reason Dick accepted Jason’s anger was that Jason did the same with Dick, only it happened within the secrecy of Jason’s flat. The only reason Dick clung to Jason during meetings was so Jason could see if Dick was alright or if Jason needed to put a stop to the meetings.

Dick slept better with Jason because he could wake up screaming, trashing, and crying in front of Jason and the man would hug him until the terror passed. The others wouldn’t understand, they would make a fuss, make him talk about it. Jason helped him pulling all his pieces together, and helped him put duct-tape around them so they could assemble in the shape of Dick Grayson, and if one day Dick wanted to cut the tape and show the pieces and put them back together, he knew Jason would help him, without judgment, without any worried stares. Jason would stand next to him and be his pillar.

Richard Grayson-Wayne wasn’t enigmatic, he wasn’t mysterious. He was broken, and only Jason Peter Todd could kiss him until his breath wasn’t stopping because of a panic attack. Dick Grayson was a coward who couldn’t say he was in love with his little brother and Jason would let him because he knew Dick would never confess, and never say he loved him. Jason Todd hadn’t hoped for anything since he died. He had learned the hard way people weren’t foolproof, he had died because Bruce thought himself infallible. He hadn’t been. Obviously.

Dick Grayson was broken and no one saw, no one tried to see. He was supposed to be a pillar, the first Robin, and if he broke down the family would sink with him. So he let people believe he was a gentle man who still hoped his wayward brother would love him.

He hid his true nature, he hid the sinful love he held towards his adoptive brother. He was an egoist. He was the one who took and took. Some times he would feel guilty but Jason was here to hush the worry away, to kiss Dick’s body when he felt like the ugliest monster in the universe, Jason would let Dick touch him and whisper that Dick couldn’t taint him for he wasn’t a stain. Jason would lie next to Dick and just be content to hear Dick’s heartbeat. Dick Grayson didn’t have to be anyone with Jason. There was no Nightwing, Robin, son, boyfriend, no hero, no vigilante, no officer, no Dickie. Just Dick, only Dick and it was enough. Dick could let go and be safe because he knew Jason would catch him.

Always.


End file.
